Paradise Lost or Paradise Found?

Enjoy faux paradise here in Nordeast! Our exotics are made with lots of premium liquor, strange mixers, house-made syrups, spices, bitters & fresh fruit.

Weak | Medium | Strong

Mai Tai
A hefty cocktail made the traditional way with fresh squeezed lime, amber rum, house-made orgeat, Curacao, and a dark Jamaican rum float. Garnished with mint and love.
Circa 1944

Evil Headhunter
Lured into the jungle by wafts of dark rum, pineapple, fresh lime, almonds, and mysterious drums, you trip head first into a hole. You know what happens next.
Circa 1959 

The Beachcomber
The sun is setting and the torches are on fire. Better than taking a walk on a deserted beach with your secret lover, and not getting busted. Flavors of strawberry, lychee, lime & pineapple... and paradise. Completely inauthentic, but who gives a crap.
Circa 1985 

The FuManchu
Only one foo will do, in this not so foo-foo fighting beverage. Special Kung Fu flavors of Jamaican rums, coconut, and Hawaiian island flavor.
Circa 1960 

Siren's Call
Suzi threw herself on the rocky shore after heeding this Siren's Call...and the rest is a blur. Dark Jamaican rum, ginger syrup, lime, pineapple. Garnished with orange, lemon and enticing appeal.
Circa 1950 

Psycho Zombie
A zombie walks into a bar...that’s it, he just does, cause he’s not too smart. Drink a few rum soaked cherry, cola, & lime slushies and become completely brainless too.
Circa 2010 

Crummy Scoundrel
An absurd blend of amusing flavors and pirate-like fun...but with no pirates. Berries, hibiscus, banana, fresh lime.
Circa 1972 

Virgin Cockatiel
This cockatiel never touched the stuff... for all ages, Suzi’s non-alcoholic tiki drink. Coconut, ginger and a blend of fruit.
Circa 2016

Psychotic Suzi
Suzi says, ‘Your petty concerns of authenticity are irrelevant.’” A 20 oz. delirium of Plantation 5 year, Sailor Jerry, Trader Vic’s, and a whole lime. Amazing!
Circa 2008 

Paralyzed Polynesian
Polynesian Paralysis: ‘‘A screaming desire not to work, nor do anything that requires any substantial effort either physical or mental.’’ That’s the right attitude. Made with 4 different rums, hibiscus, and citrus.
Circa 1966 

Miserable Bastard
Booted out of the Molokai Academy of Psychology, Suzi never forgot the lesson she learned... Misery wants a drink. A wallop of dark Jamaican rum, fresh lime, falernum, and paradise bitters.Depression management.
Circa 1960 

A cross between a tropical white Russian and a pina colada, but not really. Vanilla, coconut cream, allspice & West Indies rum. Served not in a coconut, but a rocket ship...just kidding.
Circa 1964 

One Eyed Willy
This salty dog is a dangerous and deadly potion. Dark Jamaican rum, house-made falernum, orange, pineapple, fresh lime, and 151 rum.
Circa 1962 

Native's Curse
Unwelcome intruders to the forbidden island are cursed by the Native’s with a terrible spell... never ending boredom. To reverse the curse natives drink an elixir of West Indies rum, passion fruit, coconut, and citrus.
Circa 1956 

Shared Drinks

Serves 2-3

Leilani's Firebowl
Never mess with a woman scorned. 48 oz. of liquor-on-fire nonsense. A cadre of booze and boozosity. Mango, hibiscus, pineapple, orange, and citrus bitters.
Circa 1983

Eruption in Paradise
Lacking any decorum, this smoking potion will bring you to new heights of disgrace. Made with a superb blend of exotic rums, falernum (lime zest almonds, spices), and fresh fruit nectars. Circa 1969



Maui Brewing Coconut | Porter HI

Surly Furious | IPA MN

Indeed Day Tripper | Pale Ale MN

Able BLK WLF | Stout MN

Kona Big Wave | Golden Ale HI

Sociable Rusty Chain | Cranberry Cider MN

Pacifico | Pilsner Mexico

Fair State Mirror Universe | Hazy IPA MN

Elysian Night Owl | Pumpkin Ale WA

Insight Troll Way | IPA MN

Coors Light

Grain Belt Premium | Lager MN


Avery Liliko'i Kepolo (12oz) Passion Fruit White Ale

Modist False Pattern (16oz) Pale Ale

Lift Bridge Root Beer (16oz) N/A

Mich Golden Light (12oz)

Guinness (16oz)

Budweiser (12oz)

PBR (16oz)

Wine & Bubbles


Champagne in a Little Bottle

Veuve Clicquot Bottle
For your best summer celebration. Cheers!


La Crema
Pinot Noir | Russian River Valley, California

Trapiche Oak Cask
Malbec | Argentina

Lost Angel Mischief
Red Blend | California

7 Deadly Zins
Zinfandel | California

The Show
Cabernet | California


Sauvignon Blanc | New Zealand

Pinot Grigio | Sierra Foothills, California

Chardonnay | Napa Valley, California

Bieler Pere et Fils
Rosé | France

Hard Seltzer

White Claw
Black Cherry or Mango

Happy Hours

DIY Happy Hour

Only Available at The Bar & DIY Tables
Mon-Fri 3-6pm
$2 • $3 • $4 Specials!

Tropical Brunch Specials

Bloody Mary Bary $11
Loads of crap you can shove in a glass

Tropical Mimosas $9
Exotic, refreshing, good.